Akatsuki Art
by Itachi012110
Summary: Within the deepest, darkest corners of the Naruto universe there are artistic people. One would not think to find these people in the infamous hide outs of the Akatsuki organization though.


Soaring through the sky, on a breezy day, sat an Akatsuki member with a full head of blonde hair. A rat's nest, as his partner, Sasori, called it. Deidara didn't care though. As long as he looked somewhat presentable, and could do his art, it was good enough for him.

So far, Deidara had been floating aimlessly for close to fifteen minutes now, taking in the lush scenery. It was all quiet, beautiful, and artistic in a way, the bomber reasoned. It wouldn't stay that way for long, after Deidara was finished with it. Carefully, Deidara stood up, like a toddler who had just learned to walk, wobbly and holding his arms out to balance himself against the wind. It always took him a few seconds to adjust and get his balance before he started to work.

Today was a good day for art. Deidara and Sasori had no missions for the day, while Itachi and Kisame would be coming back from a 'highly difficult mission' or something like that. Did Deidara feel bad for Itachi and Kisame that they got stuck with something like that? Kisame, yeah, he felt bad. Itachi, no, because he could care less about what the Uchiha did. Besides, he didn't call Kisame 'Kisame-no-Danna' for nothing. After all, he had the most chakra of the Akatsuki organization, so he deserved the name. Itachi, not so much.

Chuckling at the thought, Deidara reached into his clay filled bags attached to his belt. He waited for a few seconds so that the mouths on the palm of his hands could mold the clay. When it was nearly done, he pulled his hands out and watched them spit out the new creations. They were all birds, which was the first thing on his To-Do list for the day.

-Blow up the sky.

He did just that. First, he combined all of his 'artwork' into one hand and held it against himself so that they wouldn't fall. They would fall eventually, but that wasn't the point. Carefully, Deidara picked up one masterpiece and threw it experimentally. He brought it to life and immediately blew it up. After that, he crouched down and had the bird that he was on zoom through the sky, and tear through the clouds. Slowing the bird's speed down Deidara threw all of his 'creations' at the forest below that surrounded the lair. While they fell, he brought the bird down into a nose dive, and watched as he passed his creations. He then made a sharp turn to the right and jumped off of his bird.

He made the hand sign and watched them explode all at once, sending streams of light through the sky. He topped it off by landing gracefully on top of his bird and soaring away.

Once that was done and over with, he had the overwhelming urge to do it again and again and again until he got tired. It was his day off, and he was going to go wild with it.

An hour later, Deidara was still at it, laughing and yelling, and throwing his creations around like it was the end of the world. The look on his face was priceless, like the look on a child's face on Christmas morning. Deidara's face was always like that on Christmas morning when he got fresh new clay. The good kind, not the cheap kind. (He had to pay Kakuzu the money he saved up to buy that clay)

Meanwhile, back at the Akatsuki hideout, Kakuzu sat reading the newspaper of what went on in the world. Because someone kept dropping them off at their doorstep, not because he paid for them.

"Hey, Kakuzu, are we in a #^&*% earthquake or what?" Hidan said in a bored tone. He had a feeling that it wasn't an earthquake, but some_one_ else.

"Deidara's having his own world war outside." Kakuzu said without looking up from his reading.

Hidan snorted and walked away. "Well somebody better tell that $$&%# that he needs to knock it off, or I'm going to start a war with him." With that said, Hidan disappeared around the corner of the room. At that moment, a particularly loud explosion went off, making Kakuzu slightly jump in his chair, while Hidan got knocked off his feet.

"That $%$ %%% ^ %$%! When I #$$%#%#$ get done with him, I'm gonna—"

"Enough." Kakuzu said sternly and shot him a glare. Nobody wanted to put up or hear Hidan's fits.

Hidan snorted again and as soon as he got back up, he got knocked off his feet once again, starting another barrage of curses. Kakuzu sighed and went back to reading the paper again.

-Later on-

Deidara was currently sitting down on top of a rock. He just blew up the bird that he was flying on and landed gracefully on the ground. To him, it was an incredible accomplishment, because he knew that never in a million years could Itachi Uchiha have done anything that like he had been doing for the last few hours. Maybe he could, but Deidara wouldn't acknowledge it. Ever.

"Well, break time is over, back to art." Deidara said. He stood up from his spot and pulled out a variety of clay spiders, centipedes, and other various insects that he could come up with. When he was done, he set them loose on the forest floor and sent them to a specific location. In the time being, he created yet another clay bird that he could ride on and took off to the sky. He wanted an aerial view when he set these next explosions off. After Deidara found a spot that he was content with, he sat down so that he could relax while he watched them explode. After all, blowing things up made you tired when you did so for long periods of time…

…

Sitting down was unacceptable, especially when he could be getting the maximum experience standing up. That would be much more suitable for him. After he set the signal for them to blow up, they went off one after another, and sent the trees falling to the earth as they did so.

Now the trees were down, making a nice clearing, or training area, which the others should thank him for later. When he sat down on his bird, he thought about what he would do next.

Blowing up the earth was done, so he needed something else to do.

"Hm, I think I need to replenish my chakra before I start again. I need to be at my very best when I create works of art, hm?" Deidara said to himself and turned the bird back around to the Akatsuki lair.

Upon returning back to the lair, he hopped off of his bird, and landed softly on the ground. When he walked inside, he met Hidan, who held an angry glare, but a cocky smile at the same time.

"What? No explosions? That's dumb."

Deidara ignored him and walked off. When he was far enough away to hear Hidan, still laughing about his own comment, he blew up the bird, which knocked Hidan off his feet again. This was followed by yet another angry barrage of curses directed at Deidara.

"Deidara,"

"Hm? Yes, Leader?" Deidara asked.

He now stood next to their stoic, auburn-haired leader, who was waiting to say something.

"I heard explosions. You're doing something…productive…with your time, I assume?" Pain asked.

"Yeah, un. I made space for a new training area, hm?" Deidara said, obviously pleased with himself.

Pain kept the same emotionless expression on his face, but told him "You did that two days ago, if I recall."

"Hm, maybe you're thinking of—"

"Are you questioning me?" Pain asked. You did not question your Leader. You _couldn't_ do that. You could make Hidan mad, but he wasn't the Leader. Pain was.

"Yeah, I remember that now. I'm also practicing, though." Deidara said with a small smile and shrugged, hoping that would get him out of an oncoming lecture.

"Yes, but you do this constantly. Please keep it to a minimum." Pain said and walked away.

Deidara thought quickly for something that would make it all better, and came up with something. "I'll make you a fountain later!" Deidara called. To him, Pain ignored it and walked away. The truth was, when Pain heard that, he really wished he hadn't recruited him. He also didn't know what Deidara's 'fountain' would be like. They were Akatsuki members, why did they need one?

"Now what do I want to do now? Deidara asked himself. He looked around and spotted the Akatsuki fridge. At that moment, his stomach let out a loud growling noise, and it made him think that his stomach was its own kind of bomb sometimes with the way it grumbled. Food was a good idea. What better way to replenish his chakra and start off fresh than to eat something?

Quickly, Deidara busied himself in the kitchen and started to make a casserole with whatever he could find. Konan's macaroni noodles, Kisame's chili sauce, Hidan's chicken, Kakuzu's spices, Sasori's 'bottle'…. Come to think of it, it didn't look like Sasori's bottle. It was in with the spices, but if it was Sasori's, it would have a scorpion insignia on it instead of his name. It also looked like his handwriting…oh well, he reasoned. Into the casserole it went whatever it was.

Ten minutes into baking, stirring, and everything else, the stove blew up.

"That's right; I put that there so that Sasori-no-Danna would put that into his food and explode. Come to think of it, Sasori doesn't eat, and I should've known that was my handwriting. I forgot about that." Deidara said.

Silence. "Also, I can't really cook either." Deidara realized.

The blonde artist eventually settled on a club sandwich which he found in the fridge. It had no meat in it whatsoever, and tons of vegetables. It wasn't Hidan's then, because he hated veggies. It wasn't his, because he spent all his money on art. Sasori didn't eat, and Kisame was a fish man. Curious, Deidara got up and looked through the trashcan where he threw the container.

It was labeled 'Zetsu's'. Oh well. He didn't care if people ate his food. Most of the time, he didn't eat it, because he was too busy eating people or something. Secretly, Deidara always wanted to see Zetsu nibble on somebody. It was one of his lifelong dreams, so to see that.

"Alright, I'm done, and I'm going to take a nap now, everyone who might be listening." Deidara declared.

"Have a good, $ %%&* time." Hidan called back.

Nobody else answered, which was fine. Little did he know, that their Leader heard him from the other side of the lair and wished that he hadn't come to work on paperwork the day that Deidara had off.

-After Deidara's nap-

Deidara was out, and energized like he was earlier that morning. He woke up with a start, didn't bother to fix his hair, and zoomed out of the room. In the process, he managed to knock the tray of poisons that Sasori was carrying onto the floor. He jumped over it, apologized to Sasori, and could've sworn that he saw a black storm cloud over Sasori's head. He was in trouble when he got back.

Next on the Deidara To-Do list:

-Make Leader a fountain.

"Sounds good," Deidara said.

Not bothering to make a clay bird, Deidara walked around to the northern part of the lair where the Leader's office was located. Once there, he checked the calculations that he made earlier, and placed a clay spider where the wall to Leader's office was. It was set to go off in about…seven minutes. After that was done, Deidara ran over to the small lake that was behind the lair. Kisame was practicing months ago, and made a lake in the process. He never used it, but said that he was going to do something with it. Whatever it was, it wasn't important, Deidara reasoned.

Putting up his fingers in a frame shape, he made sure that he was in line from the white blob which was his creation on the wall, and started to create. He made ten clay fish, and felt as good as new; not tired like he was before.

He didn't bother to activate them. He wanted them to be in certain places so that it would look authentic. Deciding to be simple, he walked around the perimeter, and tossed the fish into the water, hoping that it would look good. When that was done, he crossed his arms, and jumped when an explosion went off.

Deidara chuckled and ran over to the newly created hole in the wall. Pain was on the floor, his desk tipped over, with papers scattered everywhere, and his headband was nowhere to be seen.

"Leader! I made art, un!" Deidara said and prepared the hand sign. "Deidara, don't—" but before Pain could finish, Deidara detonated the bombs, which had something special about them. He could've been more exact, and made a clay bird to throw the bombs in the lake with, but these bombs were infused with extra chakra.

"Art is an EXPLOSION, UN!" Deidara cried before being soaked with month old lake water. He was too happy to care until something hit him in the head, which knocked him off his feet. At first, he thought that it was Pain, smacking him upside the head, but when he looked, it was a dead, koi fish.

"Uh-oh. Kisame made a koi pond and I killed it…oh well." Deidara said. About half of the members already hated him so it wouldn't make a difference. He tossed the fish behind him, which nearly hit Pain upside the head, and when Deidara looked back to see where it landed, Pain's face had turned the same shade of orange-red as his hair.

"Uh, gotta go, Leader, enjoy the fountain!" Deidara said and ran back into the lair as fast as he could.

When he got back inside, he went straight to the refrigerator for a drink.

Konan's lose weight drink, Kisame's 'water', Kakuzu's weird tea, Hidan's energy drink, Zetsu's…who knows what, Sasori's poison (Why was that in there?), and Itachi's special tea. (Different from Kakuzu's)

Deidara took one look at Itachi's tea and put on a face of disgust. The stuff tasted nasty, and it was Itachi's, which made a huge difference. Then an idea came to mind. He dug out a small, spider shaped bomb, and placed it in the fridge. Itachi would be coming back soon, and every time when he got back from missions, he got a drink. When he opened it, Ka-boom. It would explode. That was great, Deidara thought. However, when Itachi opened it, Deidara would have to be there to see it, so he would have to be close by. He walked over to the couches where Hidan was sleeping, and snoring, and sat down. Kakuzu had left to probably count his money, by now, so Deidara would watch for Itachi and Kisame.

A few minutes later, the cave door opened up, and as it was opening, Sasori walked into the room.

"Sasori-no-Danna!"

"Brat," Was Sasori's reply. Yep, he was mad.

Deidara looked over to Itachi and Kisame who had now come into view, but he was watching them carefully still. "So, Sasori, what are you doing now?"

Sasori looked over at him and back at the fridge and said "Getting some poison that I had to keep at forty degrees."

"How would you do that?" Deidara asked.

"Put it in the fridge, of course." Sasori said and went to open it up. By now, Itachi and Kisame were inside, and the rock door was slowly closing behind them. That wasn't' the problem though.

Sasori opened the fridge.

Deidara got up to warn him.

His head blew off along with the entire fridge and its contents, including Zetsu's…'parts'.

Hidan woke up and started cursing.

For a second, the world had slowed down into slow motion. It sped back up and Deidara made a break for the door, pushing Itachi and Kisame out of the way and ducking under the cave door.

"Sorry about the koi, Kisame-no-Danna!" He called, made a bird, hopped on, and flew towards the setting sun.

"Deidara," Sasori grunted.

"He's been doing it all $%#%## day." Hidan said.

"What just happened, and what did he do to my koi pond?" Kisame yelled and slid under the door, running out back. Itachi stood at the now closed cave entrance, trying to comprehend what just happened.

Silence.

"MY KOI POND! DEIDARA!" Kisame yelled.

Deidara didn't bother looking back. He did anyways, because he was curious, though. There was smoke coming from Pain's office, there were two, new holes in the earth, dead fish littering the one, and an angry shark man outside. There was no way they would let Deidara be if he came back. However, there was only one more thing to do at a depressing time like this…

Do it some more and blow up the rest of the world…

And he did…


End file.
